I have written a lot of blog posts and sometimes I ask myself “Did I already write about this”. Between my horrible memory and me shooting out a blog post weekly or me trying to post weekly it’s a lot of ideas and they all kinda get scrambled. So this topic may have already been talked about or maybe it hasn’t and I’m about to. 

I am twenty years old. This is really weird to say because at one point I was 15 praying for the day I would be twenty and out of school. Two years ago I graduated and I happen to graduate when the whole covid thing started and everyone kinda had no idea what to do. Like people were freaking out and for some reason getting all this toilet paper. It was very concerning, to say the least. 

When I first graduated I was so happy I mean so happy to finally get away from high school and all the drama that existed and of course the teachers. They weren’t that bad just some were more annoying than the others. Then, of course, you have waking up super early and then having to learn eight hours’ worth of stuff that you don’t think you will ever really use in the real world so that was annoying and hated most of it.

Throughout high school I hated it I mean I truly hated it. Well for the three years anyways. Ninth grade was great because I was a high schooler and those were cool in middle school and in elementary but for 10 11 12. I didn’t want to do it over and over and over again for three years grade nine was enough then the drama and stupid things all added up and I really really hated high school. Even after graduating I still hated hell I even hated it more than when I was in school. All of a sudden I was out of the environment and I got to take a good look at what I was in and dealing with all those years and I just hated it so very much. 

Now I know that I have talked about these topics before and it’s the topic of something in your present like a smell or person maybe even an object takes you to the past or a memory of the past anyways. I have those a lot whether it’s things from when I was a kid like today I turned on my game cube and the sound/ song takes me right back to when I was lying on my parent’s bed watching my dad play paper Mario or when I’m outside and I grab a stick and it takes me back to when I was at my grandma’s place and my uncle would tell me to pick a good stick to roast marshmallows. As I got older and graduated high school I was standing outside waiting for my dad to pick me up so I could go do something but as I waited it would take me back to the freezing times while me and my friends waited for our buses to come. Shivering and jumping trying to keep warm in this horrible Canadian weather… 

The other day I woke up at 6 in the morning. I don’t know why my body just wanted me awake for a couple of minutes and I remember waking up and my room wasn’t pitch black it had some light since it was six in the morning and the sun was slowly starting to rise. All of a sudden it took me back to waking up ten minutes before my alarm and just staring at the wall wondering why I needed to go to school and why they think waking up this early is a good thing. I went back to sleep and then woke up a couple of hours later but I kept thinking about the school morning and all of a sudden I loved high school. 

At the time it was horrible. Bad people, Drama, stupid stuff like I said before. It was bad and my mental health and even my relationship with people like friends were dented and I just wanted to get out. But now in the present, I just remember waking up at six in the morning. Sleep ish me going to the washroom brushing my teeth half awake and washing my face and then getting my clothes before rushing downstairs and pacing down the hall packing my bag and getting everything I needed for that day. Then I ate a really fast breakfast and I was out the door waiting for my bus.. Well, there was some time in between all of that like I woke up at 6:30 and was out the door by 7:15. Then the very long bus ride which was forty minutes to my school. I always fell asleep and then would feel like crap when I got there. I should have read a book or something instead of sleeping. Then you know the whole high school life. 

I kinda just remembered the good parts about high school. The friends the fun times, the stupid times where we were just being teenagers. A year ago if I was asked if I would go back to high school and maybe do it again I would say no but now present time I would say yes I would probably complain while doing it again but high school was fun and we were all just trying to figure out what we were going to do with life. 

I miss when I was younger than I am now. I miss being 15 and 16. They were fun ages and I should have done more and cared less. But high school had its moments but I loved it and I wish to be that stupid 16-year-old. 

I learned as you grow and your environment changes you’ll look back on what you used to have and used to be. Sometimes as bad as it was sometimes you miss it and you’ll look back and think what a wonderful time that was.