Every year I write one. Well, I have only had this blog for a year and a half and have only written one blog but still. So here is another birthday blog post.
I watched this video on Ig and it was this woman talking about birthdays, although she is 28 years old she is still 20 years old she is still 16 years old she is still a 2-year-old. From what I remember from the video she said. The days where I stay up late and party is my 16-year-old self. The days where I am lost and confused is my 20-year-old self and the days where I cry and sob is my two-year-old self.
When I watched the video I realized she was true about everything she said. We have our moments of being a child we have moments of being a teen and the moments of being in our 20s. Now I cant fully relate to the last one since I just arrived in my 20s.
For some people, birthdays are not a big thing and for others, it’s a huge thing. They throw parties and have a great time or sit at home watching movies.
Every year around 10pm-ish two hours before my birthday I read all the letters that I have written to myself and then I write another letter to myself. I write how I’m doing what I am doing as for work and what my goals are. I have been writing these letters since I was 15 years old. Sadly I lost two of them but I still have from my 15th my 18th and 19th. I write these letters because my life is always changing. I am meeting new people, writing new stuff and having new goals. Each year when I write the letters and read them it’s a crazy thing to see how much has changed.
It seems when I was younger the time went slow. It tools months of end to get from March to April but somehow now it takes a week to get from March to April. Somehow time just moves faster than I want to and catching up with time is a pain in the ass.
As I get older I learn more things as cheesy as it is. I learn about my mind works and how to shut it up. I learn that it’s allowed to say no to people instead of saying yes all the time and that some people are really not worth any more of my time. My birthdays are celebrated for another year of living and another year of “See I could do it”. There were times when I was 16 and I thought yup my life is done for… I was very dramatic.
In my thinking, I think birthdays are worth celebrating. Whether you have a mental illness or a perfect life with no drama. Although it’s just another day in our life we only turn that age once and we have the excuse to spend money and have fun without having to worry about work or life.
Although I am 20 I am still 19. I am still 16. I am still 2.
Sometimes a birthday means having Mcdonald’s with your friends and having a very chocolate cake at the end of the night.
Whatever it may be.
It’s still a birthday.
